Motives

I think of you a lot these days
The love you made me feel
Were you only grooming me
Was any of it real
Attention paid to little girl
Was that just on your list
Of everything so critical
That it could not be missed
I see a little girl go by
I'm struck by how she seems
So vulnerable, so small
Is it just like in your dreams
Was that what turned you on
I was that exposed and young
You looked at my body
And thought it would be fun
I pray to God that wasn't it
It wasn't how I looked
I hope instead what drew you was
The power that you took
You saw a chance to be more
Than just the golden boy
To be a king in your own world
With your own life-sized toy
While just as wrong, it doesn't make
My stomach feel as sick
As if you liking children's bodies
Is what makes you tick
I can't help but wonder
What was your final goal
If narcissistic thoughts were
What made you act so bold
If so, did they continue
Throughout these many years
I guess that's just my way of asking
What's the sum of tears
Did you start hurting other girls
When I moved away
I know I'll finally learn the truth
When we're judged someday
Until that day, questions persist
Answers lag behind
But one day the whole world will see
What you try to hide