Escape

The day I tried to escape
Was something to write home about
Previously resigned to being raped
That day I knew I'd get out

Everything started, as I planned in my mind,
I willingly walked to his room
Facing echoes of fear, but I tried
To shake off the feelings of doom
Once in his room, we went to his bed
No pretending this time
I saw it so clearly in my head
I KNEW that I would be fine
I was ready to scream
To kick and then run
To blindly lash out every way
My body had the power of a loaded gun
It just needed to have its say
He lay down beside me, then on top
Expertly pulling off panties
I braced myself, wanting to scream at him "Stop!"
All I could do was freeze

Silence

He pulled here and pushed there
And was inside again
Stunned, my plans were laid bare
I thought I could scream, but then

Quiet

Nothing stopped him
No hitting, no kicking, I was too weak
No screaming, my voice was too hidden
No heart to fight back, I was too meek
Old patterns returned, though unbidden

The day I tried to escape
Was something to write home about
Previously resigned to being raped
One day, I know I'll get out