Alone

I swallow hard as time stands still
My breathing shaky, fast
I try to fight against the pull
I know my strength won’t last
Can I use logic without words
Convince myself don’t die
I’m not sure the power exists
To will myself to try
This is a realm where no one wins
There’s fear here, buried deep
Whether one of life or one of death
My choice, it will not keep
Another breath, eyes tightly shut
So I don’t see this life
I look for things I want to see
No hurt, no pain, no strife
Family lingers in mind’s eye
I try to reach for them
But they slip away, disintegrate,
When touched by thoughts within
I’m just so tired of feeling this
Desire not to exist
Of knowing when I’m not on guard
My whole world’s at risk
One final breath, a silent scream
A desperate cry for help
But no one answers, quiet reigns
I only hear myself